Masked Grief in Seniors: Recognizing Hidden Signs of Loss

When someone you love experiences grief, you'd expect to see obvious signs. At the first sign of obvious sadness or tears, you're there to comfort them and give them the support they desperately need.

But what if your loved one has masked grief? For many seniors, grief can be subtle, delayed, or even hidden, especially by other physical or emotional symptoms. This can make it hard for you to determine if and when they need support.

To help you out, this article will show you how to spot hidden grief symptoms that seniors in Auburn, AL, go through and how you can respond with compassion and care.

What's Masked Grief?

Masked grief is when a person doesn't consciously recognize that they're in such a state, or they're suppressing it entirely. This can be common in people who have been conditioned to keep their emotions private and to "stay strong" with a "tough face."

It can also happen to people who have experienced multiple, cumulative losses of things like their spouses, friends, independence, or health.

Common Causes of Grief in Seniors

As we've just said, the death of a spouse, friend, or sibling can cause seniors to grieve. But there are other reasons why your loved one might be in mourning, such as:

• Loss of mobility or independence
• Cognitive decline or diagnosis of dementia
• Transition into assisted living
• Loss of routine or sense of purpose (such as after retirement)
• Financial insecurity or role reversals (dependence on others)
• Isolation from loved ones, especially during holidays or milestone events

The Hidden Signs of Loss in Seniors

You might ask your loved one if they're grieving, especially if they've experienced recent loss. They might keep saying no, but you have your doubts. So what are the signs of masked grief?

Physical Complaints With No Clear Cause

Grief can manifest in somatic symptoms, or physical complaints. They include:

• Aches
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Digestive issues

As a result, seniors may visit their doctors for recurring physical symptoms that have no clear medical explanation. If you've noticed that your loved one has made multiple trips to their doctor and doesn't have a diagnosis, this may be a sign of masked grief.

Increased Irritability or Anger

They say that anger is a secondary emotion, and it's very true for grief. A way of coping with loss for many is to lash out, so they'll be short-tempered, frustrated, or critical. This is especially true if they feel unheard or helpless.

If you've experienced verbal outbursts or passive-aggressive behavior from your loved one, as well as sudden mood swings, then it's likely that they have masked grief.

Withdrawal From Social Activities

Some situations can remind seniors of who or what they've lost, so they'll go out of their way to avoid them. Often, this withdrawal is mistaken for depression or disinterest.

Even if they don't skip out on events, they may sit quietly or let others speak instead. Or they might make excuses to avoid going out.

Changes in Personal Hygiene or Home Environment

Grief is commonly accompanied by emotional detachment or loss of motivation. And as a result, there can be a decline in cleanliness or home upkeep.

When you visit your loved one, take note of how they look; they may not be groomed and have unwashed clothes. If there are dishes piling up and mail that's unopened, they could be secretly grieving.

Depression Symptoms Without Acknowledging Sadness

Masked grief can look a lot like depression, but your loved one may not identify as "sad." Still, keep an eye out for:

• Apathy or loss of interest in life
• Expressions of hopelessness
• Sleeping excessively or not at all
• Statements like "Why am I still here?" or "Everyone's gone."

How to Support a Senior Dealing With Masked Grief

Providing the right grief support for seniors is key to your loved one's emotional wellness. But remember that the goal isn't to force them to talk; it's to create a safe and supportive environment for expression and healing.

Here's how you can support senior mental health.

Start With Gentle Acknowledgement

You want to acknowledge that they're going through a tough time, but you don't want to push away your loved one either. So here are some statements that are gentle yet assertive enough to open conversations:

• You've been through a lot these past years; how are you really feeling?
• I've noticed you're a lot quieter lately; I'm here if you ever want to talk.

You should also validate and normalize their feelings, as many seniors feel like they shouldn't burden others with their emotions.

Encourage Expression Without Pressure

Talking can be immensely difficult when experiencing masked grief. To make things easier, don't ask them direct questions about their loss.

Instead, encourage them to write, journal, or do art. Invite them to share stories about the past, even if they're repetitive.

Facilitate Social Connections

Loneliness and isolation can make grief worse, but you can help pull your loved one out of these things by facilitating social connections for them. Have other family members, friends, or volunteers visit them at their residence.

Or if they reside in a senior living community, suggest that they participate in the activities and events scheduled. These things can lift their mood and decrease grief symptoms.

Watch for When Professional Help Is Needed

Unfortunately, grief can turn into prolonged depression, neglect, or suicidal ideation. At this point, professional intervention is of the utmost importance.

Consider referring them to a geriatric counselor or grief therapist, or involve a primary care physician if the physical symptoms are worsening.

Help Your Loved One With Masked Grief

When a senior goes through a loss, they may hide behind a polite smile and tell you they're fine. But often, this is just masked grief, and they're not doing well behind their facade.

By learning to recognize the subtle signs of masked grief, you can play an important role in helping your loved one recover, even after great loss.

At Monarch Estates, we have several spacious floor plans available. Get in touch with us today if you're interested in hearing more about Auburn senior living.